You buy an audio program, play it for the first time, and after a few minutes your thoughts have already drifted off to your obligations. Or you listen to it in the evening, half asleep, like background music, and wonder whether it is working at all. If even one of these situations sounds familiar, this article is for you.
Systemic Affirmations™ are not a recording you put on in passing to lift your mood. Each program is a guided process, and how much is set in motion within you depends on the way you listen. That is why it helps to know exactly what you are doing while you listen, why it matters to feel the sentences in your body, and why a program is listened to continuously.
Here all the instructions are gathered in one place, just as they appear in the program descriptions and as the practice is described in the books Decoding the Soul, Soul Codes and The Path of Knowledge.
What actually happens while you listen
Systemic Affirmations™ grow out of systemic self-exploration. The book Decoding the Soul describes the path from healing sentences, which Bert Hellinger calls ‘magic formulas’, to independent practice. In constellations, these sentences are spoken by the client with the guidance of the facilitator, while in self-exploration you use them on your own, through focused attention, and so set in motion inner processes similar to those that open up in a workshop.
The key lies in focused attention. The sentence is not repeated mechanically; rather, awareness is directed towards it, as towards a mantra focused on a particular emotional block or family entanglement. Repetition helps to dissolve mental barriers and to create a new, healthier emotional response to old questions.
Self-exploration is not merely a practice aimed at relaxation or a superficial calming of the mind, it is a profound process that changes the way our brain processes information and emotional reactions. (from the book Decoding the Soul)
That is why the description of every program says the same thing: this is not just an affirmation audio, it is a process. A process asks for your presence, not just your ears.
First step: a quiet place and focused attention
The instructions for every program begin with the sentence: play your audio guide, find a quiet place, close your eyes or put on headphones while you walk, and work with focused attention. The programs last roughly between 16 and 36 minutes, so it is good to make sure you have a space where no one will interrupt you for that time.
The program descriptions give three ways of using them:
- in peace and quiet, sitting or lying down, with your eyes closed
- while walking, with your attention on your breathing and the sensations in your body
- during everyday activities, while you listen to your body and consciously take the words into your inner space
Whatever you choose, the common denominator is attention. Listening on the move or during everyday activities is not the same as listening in the background. Even then, your attention stays with the sentences and with what they set in motion within you. If your thoughts pull your attention away, there is no need to struggle: simply return to the next sentence. The book Decoding the Soul says that the ability to stay focused improves over time.
Second step: feel the sentences in your body
The second part of the instructions reads: follow the sentences and feel them in your body. Some programs put it even more strongly: follow the instructions and feel it in your body as intensely as you can. Your body remembers; allow it to show you where the blocks are, so that you can release them.
This wording is no accident. The books Soul Codes and Decoding the Soul describe dramatisation, that is, the conscious amplification of a feeling in awareness and in the body. In psychology, this principle is called ‘paradoxical intention’. Instead of running away from an unpleasant feeling, you consciously give it more attention, stay with it while it dominates, and so set its release in motion.
So it is all right if sadness, anger, shame or restlessness arise while you listen. Observe how your body reacts, and do not become emotionally attached to the images that appear on your mental screen. If you feel that the emotions are too heavy or last a long time, systemic work does not replace professional psychological or medical help when it is needed.
Rhythm: twice a day, continuously
For the best results, the description of every program says: listen to and practise the program twice a day, for 21 days in a row. Two programs have a different rhythm. Codes for Preparing before Constellations is listened to twice a day for 7 days, and Codes for Integration after Constellations twice a day for 14 days.
Why is continuity so important? The book Decoding the Soul explains that constellations are periodic and that in the intervals between sessions old habits and emotional patterns can re-establish themselves. Independent practice provides continuity, and you become an active participant in your own process, at your own pace and in your own space.
If you miss a day, do not give up on the whole process. Return to the practice and carry on, with the same intention.
Intention before you press ‘play’
The book The Path of Knowledge contains one simple thought: the key thing in this practice is sincere intention and focus. Before listening, pause for a few moments and become aware of why you are listening to this particular program. It may be your relationship with your mother, a feeling of not belonging, preparation for a constellation, or integrating the insights after one.
Intention serves as a guide through the process, and focused attention is what carries that intention. When the two come together, listening stops being passive and becomes a personal practice of systemic self-exploration.
Before you decide on a program, you can listen to an excerpt. That way you will sense whether it suits you as support in the process you are currently working on.