Perhaps you find the same story repeating itself in your life: similar relationships, the same fears, the same standstills, even though you try to make things different. Perhaps someone has mentioned the word “constellations” to you, and you wonder what actually happens in them and whether they are something for you.
Family constellations start from a simple yet profound insight: we are shaped not only by our personal choices, but also by the invisible forces of the family system we belong to. What we feel today is often an echo of old family dynamics that we have inherited without even being aware of it.
In this article you will learn what the method rests on, who belongs to the family system, and what a workshop looks like, from the moment the field is created to the end of the work.
What family constellations are
Systemic constellations were developed by Bert Hellinger. It is a phenomenological method that explores and uncovers the hidden connections and dynamics within family and other systems. It makes it possible to understand, and to be relieved of, the emotional, psychological and physical burdens that are passed down through the generations, burdens that are often unconscious and invisible.
Classical family constellations emerged in the late 1980s. Hellinger later developed his work into the Movements of the Soul, and then into spiritual constellations, which rely less on information and more on intuitive guidance. That is why today we speak of systemic constellations as the shared name for all of these approaches.
We often live the destinies of our ancestors, without realising that we are repeating patterns that have been present for generations. (from the book Soul Codes)
Who belongs to the family system
The family system is far wider than what we see in a family photograph. It includes parents and children, including children who were never born, as well as brothers, sisters, grandmothers, grandfathers and ancestors. It also includes the parents' former partners, and those who did the family some good or some harm.
When one of them is excluded, forgotten or passed over in silence, the system loses its balance. Then one of the descendants, unconsciously and out of love, begins to carry that burden. Constellations help such entanglements to be seen, and give the excluded person back their place.
The principles the work rests on
At the heart of Hellinger's method lie several principles that make up the order of love. They are not rules imposed from outside, but laws that reveal themselves again and again in the work:
- The right to belong: every member of the system keeps their place, regardless of their actions or their fate.
- Order and hierarchy: love flows rightly from the older to the younger, and from parents to children.
- The balance of giving and receiving: when it is disturbed, emotional and energetic blockages arise.
- Respect for what is: everything that exists deserves to be accepted exactly as it is.
What a constellation workshop looks like
At the workshop, a “field” is created first, a space in which energies can move and express themselves freely. The person working on themselves presents their issue. It may be the relationship with their parents or partner, a personal blockage, work, money or health.
Then representatives are chosen from the group to stand symbolically for family members or other elements of the issue, such as fear, money or an emotional state. The representatives intuitively step into the roles of those they represent, and often feel and show their emotions and bodily reactions, even though they know nothing about that family.
The facilitator follows what is happening in the field. Sometimes they guide the representatives, and sometimes they let the movements unfold spontaneously. In this way, what was hidden comes to light: someone who is missing, an unspoken secret, someone's pain kept in silence. In the final part, healing sentences are often spoken, which Hellinger calls “magic formulas”, and which help everyone return to their place.
The work ends when balance is restored in the field, when everyone is well. It is important to know that what the representatives show does not necessarily mean that something really happened that way. The picture from the field is the inner truth of the system, not a historical record.
What comes after the workshop
Constellations bring systemic entanglements to the surface and set a process of relief in motion. Yet workshops are periodic, and old patterns of the mind have a way of returning. That is why working on yourself between workshops is an important part of the whole.
Systemic self-exploration helps the insights from constellations to be worked through and consolidated, while presence exercises bring peace and clarity. This is exactly what Systemic Affirmations™ rest on: a conscious intention that rounds off what has been opened in the field. Many people notice that a constellation continues to work long after the session has ended.
If difficult emotions arise during the work, it is important to know that systemic work does not replace professional psychological or medical help when it is needed. Constellations are a path of understanding and relief, and the pace is always set by your readiness to look at what is.
If you feel it is time to look at your family story from a wider angle, a workshop is a good place to begin. You do not need to know anything in advance. It is enough to come with an open heart and a sincere intention.