Experiences and evidence

At the workshop it emerged that his grandfather had been castrated in a camp, and that trauma remained as a silent wound in the male line.

The relief came when Vasilije said: "Dear grandfather, I, just like you, cannot have relationships, because I love you. Now I give back to you what is yours. My masculinity is mine and I live it freely."

Afterwards he said: "I feel as if I have regained the strength in my body."

At the workshop it came to light that her great-grandmother had died in childbirth, while the child survived. This was never spoken of. Ljubica was carrying her invisible departure.

Relief came when she said: "Great-grandmother, your death belongs to you. I remain here, in my body, in life."

Afterwards she said: "For the first time I feel that I am standing firmly on the ground."

At the workshop it was revealed that his great-grandfather had been branded a "traitor" and killed without trial. The family carried a sense of shame and guilt for generations.

Relief came when Nemanja said: "Dear grandfather, I see you and I see the injustice that happened to you, but I am not you. From today I will live my own life for myself, not yours and for you."

Later he said: "I breathe more easily, as if I have taken a stone off my shoulders."

At the workshop it emerged that her grandmother had been in a relationship with a man who was killed, and this was kept silent. For her, love meant loss, and that pattern was passed on.

The relief came when she said: "Grandmother, I honour your lost love. My love is free and safe."

Afterwards she said: "For the first time I feel that a relationship doesn't automatically mean pain."

At the workshop it came to light that her father and great-grandfather had died of kidney disease, and the family story was full of sentences like: "In our family, kidneys are weak."

Relief came when she said: "My dear ones, I acknowledge your illnesses, but I am not obliged to repeat them. My body belongs to me."

Later she said: "I feel as if my kidneys are finally mine."

At the workshop it emerged that three generations of his ancestors had been refugees: they fled from Lika, then from Bosnia, then from Slavonia. His body continued their restlessness.

Relief came when he said: "My dear ones, you had to flee. Now I have the right to stay and put down roots."

Afterwards he said: "It is as if, for the first time, I felt the wish to make a home."

At the workshop it came to light that in her family, priests and monks had been persecuted, and some killed, after the Second World War. This was never spoken of, but their faith remained as a silent wound.

The relief came when she said: "Dear ancestors, I honour your faith and your suffering. Now I choose to open my soul to God in my own way."

Later she said: "I feel peace, as if someone has switched on a light inside me."

At the workshop it was revealed that his grandfather had been known for his violence, he beat his children and his wife, and this was kept silent. He carried the fear that he would "repeat the blood."

Relief came when he said: "Grandfather, I leave the consequences of your deeds with you, I choose peace and tenderness."

Afterwards he said: "For the first time I feel that I can get angry without it meaning that I will hurt someone."

At the workshop it emerged that her grandmother had lost three children in the war and never wanted to give birth again, saying: "I won't make children for death." That sentence remained in the family unconscious.

Relief came when Bojana said: "Grandmother, I respect your losses, but my womb belongs to my time and my life."

Later she said: "It's as if I have regained the right to be a mother."

At the workshop it was revealed that his great-grandfather had gambled away the whole estate and that this was kept silent as a great shame. That feeling of loss and debt was passed on unconsciously to the descendants.

Relief came when Đorđe said: "Dear grandfather, I acknowledge your debts and leave them with you. I have the right to my own prosperity and to keep what is mine."

Later he said: "I feel that for the first time money can stay with me, instead of running away."

The relief came when she said: "Brother, you have your place in my heart, and I have the right to my own space and my own life."

Later she said: "For the first time I feel that I am not an intruder in this world."

Through the work it came to light that her grandmother had been born out of wedlock, hidden and unacknowledged, and that she lived her life in silence. That "invisibility" was passed on.

Relief came when Katarina said: "Grandmother, you were denied your place, but I choose to be seen and acknowledged."

After the workshop she said: "I feel that I have the right to exist in the light of day."